My Week In Tweets – 2011-09-25

  • Every Which Way But Luas #irishfilms #
  • Home Athlone #irishfilms #
  • Connemarathon Man #irishfilms #
  • Cocktail Sausages #irishfilms #
  • The Mammy #irishfilms #
  • Indiana Jones and the Temple Bar of Doom #irishfilms #
  • O'Connair #irishfilms #
  • A misunderstanding of Irish slang can be deadly. #
  • Laundry on. Coffee brewing. Now to finish writing a story about cats and ghosts for @ThisIsFury. #
  • Wellington waterfront poetry: http://t.co/VhknlGu1 #
  • I have written some letters. #
  • Letter writing is a discipline I need to practice more. It is a welcome change from typing disconnected sentence fragments on a screen. #
  • Crouch…Touch…Pause…ENGAGE! #
  • My plan to be lazy and watch Wales v Samoa at home has failed by virtue of it not being shown live on free-to-air. I'm an idiot. #RWC2001 #
  • Invernessun Dorma #scottishsongs #
  • Irn Man #scottishfilms #
  • Meet the Fochabers #scottishfilms #
  • A Midge Too Far #scottishfilms #
  • Leithal Weapon #scottishfilms #
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Spurtles #scottishfilms #
  • Miramar: http://t.co/We9sd24t #
  • Whittaker's Peanut Slab – its simple deliciousness may be the end of me: http://t.co/wgudoe9t #
  • My Kindle is recharging so it's time for a few more #scottishfilms starting with… #
  • The Chronicles of Nairnia #scottishfilms #
  • DINGWALL-E #scottishfilms #
  • Drambo #scottishfilms #
  • If Star Wars was a #scottishfilm Cranachan Skywalker #
  • Sporransom #scottishfilms #
  • That's enough wordplay for one evening. #
  • I got a mention in the @DaveGorman podcast this week. Fame and fortune is surely now inevitable. Who do I speak to about buying an island? #
  • My weekend officially ends in 1 minute. I shall use that time to brush my teethytusks. #
  • Brusha…Brusha…Brusha #potentiallyembarrassinggreasereference #
  • I'm seeing a few money-making tweets appearing in my timeline. Don't click on the links. If in doubt, change your password. #
  • Well it's half past Monday here so I will point myself in the direction of sleep and carry straight on till dawn. #
  • 7.03am on a Monday. How did it come to this? My lip quivers. Cold, I shiver. I will go to stand under the shower to hide my tears. #
  • I have breakfasted on porridge of such marvellous density as would make a neutron star seem like but a remnant whisp of faerie's breath. #
  • Why are all Facebook apps for Android invariably lacking some element of core functionality? #
  • Overheard at work: "A leopard never changes its stripes". #
  • It seems I'm moulting. #
  • Trapped in that awkward period between work finishing and the quiz starting. I'm just pecking at a flat white like a caffeine-addled pigeon. #
  • To everyone just waking up in the suburbs of GMT-shire, I can report from the future that Monday was much less traumatic than expected. #
  • Your suggestions for a quiz team name for this evening, if you will? #
  • Q. What has big ears and wears baggy trousers? A. Suggs Bunny #itsbeenalongday #
  • Team 'Body Wombat' finished 3rd in the quiz. Don't ask about the name. @SparkleyTwinkle's suggestion of 'Thinking Allowed' was overruled. #
  • In the unlikely event that you're ever attacked by Sting, remember he can be fended off using vinegar or a dock leaf. #
  • Sting can only dye his hair once, after which he'll become a bee. #
  • Q. What's the flimsiest domesticated shellfish? A. Limpet #needtosleep #
  • Monopoly is a magnet's least favourite board game. #
  • The most popular early 90s subatomic computer game character was Bosonic the Hedgehog. #
  • I wholeheartedly agree! RT @qikipedia: I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells – DR SEUSS #
  • Japanese physicists like to get drunk on Bose-Einstein condensake. #
  • I have reached ground-state. Good night. #
  • <mouth> <yawn style='duration:10s;width:x-wide' title='Morning' alt='Boo urns' /> </mouth> #
  • Dear rain driving against the window: you don't scare me. Love, S x #
  • Instead of going to work today I would like to be in the front garden playing the 'awesome pirate blanket' game with my nephews. Make it so. #
  • Empire of the Bun #cakefilms #
  • Frosting/Nixon #cakefilms #
  • Flan on Fire #cakefilms #
  • Cakes on a Plane #cakefilms #
  • In Her Chouxs #cakefilms #
  • One of my colleagues looks like a permanently tired owl. #
  • Negotiating with FedEx to get my new gadget cleared through customs in Auckland. #
  • My coffee tastes of Tom Yum soup and washing-up liquid. Eurgh. #
  • Wishing best of luck to @silv24 and everyone else who's taking the brain-achingly-hard-sounding MRCP exam today. #
  • RT @presentcorrect: The most perfect accidental face. http://t.co/4kG0jCQZ (via @TheSimonEvans) #
  • Quiz Q: "Is the bassoon brass or woodwind?" Me: "Woodwind". Colleague 1: "Brass". Me: "It's *made* of wood.' Colleague 2: 'Brass'. #despairs #
  • If life gives you grens, make greKABOOM! #
  • The fact I can taste poppadom is puzzling: I haven't eaten anything in about 3 hours, and I haven't eaten a poppadom for at least a year. #
  • I've also now used up my weekly allowance of the word 'poppadom'. I borrowed that one just there from next week's quota. #
  • With that thought in mind, it is bedtime. #
  • Tired ranting in three…two…one… #
  • Chap on the bus talking at the top of his voice about his prowess with calculus. Where's my cello endpin when I need it? #
  • Mini-ire-vent over. #
  • I'm feeling very harumphy this morning. More a case of grey shrew rather than black dog. If ever I needed the News Quiz podcast, it is now. #
  • Testing posting from the Gmail TwitterGadget. Hello! #
  • The host of the long-running radio show 'I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue And I'm Not Going Out Of My Way To Find Out' was Harumphry Lyttleton. #
  • I'm trying to write a joke about striking a one-dimensional geometric entity with my fist but I can't think of a punchline :( #
  • Have decided to sack off choir tonight. Going to stroll home along the waterfront instead and smile as my thoughts of work unravel. #
  • That's my evening sorted then!: http://t.co/CaqdEkMA #
  • That an apparently enlightened society even considers putting to death one of its own people in cold blood is to me abhorrent. #TroyDavis #
  • If I fill myself to bursting with curry and chocolate there'll be no room left for the cold virus, right? #notadoctor #
  • This is my first tweet from my new Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 :) #
  • We both do. I'm at my window. I press my hand against the glass. My palm clears a print in the damp pane. Through it, I see him. #soatale #
  • If I didn't feel so poorly I'd sit up till early tomorrow o'clock NZ time for the full #soatale experience. What will the next line be!? #
  • Awesome in the truest sense of the word. RT @SparkleyTwinkle: This! this! Look at this! http://t.co/645dz6NI #wow #
  • Good morning! I have morned. #
  • It's not too late for Georgia to grant clemency. Even if there's no doubt, the death penalty is always wrong. #thewholeworldiswatching #
  • Dear Georgia, I'm watching from Wellington, New Zealand #thewholeworldiswatching #
  • Disgusted by the decision to proceed with the state-approved execution/murder of Troy Davis. #
  • I sat at my desk today wishing I had access to Spotify. Then I dawned on me that in fact I just wish I worked somewhere else. #
  • "In all this vastness there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves": http://t.co/ecTPYJob #
  • Not in much of a twittery mood this evening. Good night x #
  • Stock cubes were invented in Knorrway. #
  • Digital logic gates were invented in NORway. #
  • Nibbling was invented in Gnawway. #
  • Swiss teenagers are coloquially known as 'yodelescents'. #
  • To mark the start of the weekend I am drinking some red miso. It is making my taste buds smirk and my insidey bits quiver with mild delight. #
  • Having a look at @klout for the first time. #
  • Ha ha – according to @Klout I am influential about The Hobbit, Typography, Physics, Harry Potter, Music, Coffee, and Unicorns. #
  • Mathematicians with curly hair are invariant under permutation. #
  • Brave Gnu World #animalbooks #
  • The Silmaril-lion #animalbooks #
  • Dr Jackal And Mr Hyde #animalbooks #
  • Sons and Plovers #animalbooks #
  • Bleak House-Martin Chuzzlewit #animalbooks #
  • Right. I'm off to read a bedtime story (pre-print paper) about monkey pirates (neutrinos). Have good Fridays, one and all. #
  • What should I do today? I need an adventure. #
  • Why 'spontaneous' combustion rather than something more honest and less woo-ey like 'combustion from unknown source': http://t.co/qNW22Eoe #
  • England are giving Romania a bit of a thumping here. #rwc2011 #
  • Waiting for kick-off for NZ v France. Pub packed. A single French voice exclaims 'Allez les Bleux'. No chance, mon ami. #rwc2011 #
  • The Haka – atmosphere incredible: http://t.co/2Md4LAYM #
  • All Blacks try. Anyone know where I can get new eardrums? #rwc2011 #
  • I've never seen Mischa Maisky and Billy Connolly in the same room together. #

Speaking My Mind

I must be turning into a grumpy old young man.

A few days ago I encountered an incident of casual racism – perhaps passive racism is a better term – in the context of a weekly pub quiz here in Wellington. I don’t want to recount the specifics, but let it suffice to say that it bothered me a lot at the time, and in the days since it has been growing in my mind. I have just sent an email to the manager of the business in question to express my concern and disappointment that derogatory remarks and content were allowed to be included in the quiz. I fear I may be over-reacting but I’m at least somewhat satisfied in my mind that I have made my views known. Racist attitudes of any form cannot and should not be tolerated.

My Week In Tweets – 2011-09-18

  • At my desk by nine /
    No emails or tasks pending /
    Am I needed here? #
  • Tim Tam O'Shanters: http://t.co/UBpZ1Hg #
  • I think I need to start following some people in New Zealand – my timeline goes very quiet when the UK goes to sleep. #
  • A new Hobbit casting call (but sadly, not in Wellington): http://t.co/j6HUw7f #
  • Ho hum. Another work day is over. More pennies to fritter away on life's unneccessaries. Off to grab a coffee before choir. Ho hum. #
  • I have signed up for the choir's weekend trip to W(h)anganui next month. I'm told it'll be much more fun than it sounds. Hmm. #
  • It should be mandatory for all government departments and public bodies to make themselves contactable by email. It's 2011, for fuck's sake. #
  • Last week I bought a 2kg bag of jelly beans from the cash and carry. I've just finished it. I'm simultaneously proud and ashamed of myself. #
  • Dear Student Loans Company: why do you ask for my email address but give me no option to receive correspondence other than by post? #
  • My free hand searched my own pockets. Empty. The ringing continued. I fumbled to retrieve the phone. My phone. So it was true. #soatale #
  • 1am draws near. I should be shutting down. But a mystery in 700 characters is keeping me from sleep. #soatale #
  • The wound in my hand was throbbing. I clenched to dull the pain. "Death will be slow" he said. The door was closed and locked. #soatale #
  • So many beautiful, smiling people in Wellington this morning. #
  • This morning I have been mostly learning about the existence of Eel Pie Island: http://t.co/HsNRtesv #
  • I'm never working on an IT project again unless I'm in charge and have immunity from charges of GBH. #
  • The Short Tale of Toby the Finch: http://t.co/eULCbd3B #
  • If I ever meet the person who devised Oracle Forms I'm going to slap them across the face with the rotting carcass of an incontinent fox. #
  • Every time I read news from home, I get an ever stronger impression that the UK is falling apart at the seams. #
  • Wellington bus schedules are a Dark Art. #
  • I walk to the pub a stottering bio-satchel filled with curry and rice. #
  • A Clogwork Orange #shoefilms #
  • Bladerunners #shoefilms #
  • Green Flash Gordon #shoefilms #
  • Plimsolaris #shoefilms #
  • Would that tomorrow were the weekend. #
  • Fine hail in Gonding Moor (4,7) #cryptictweet #
  • When I Was 64 #SongsAboutGettingOlder #
  • Grandpa Cobana #SongsAboutGettingOlder #
  • Thank you to @silv24 for making me aware of the existence of the marvellous word 'cwtch'. #
  • Hah – it certainly does interest me! RT @duncanslade @simonmcarthur it may interest you to know that the Welsh for microwave is popty ping. #
  • I like the fact that even though I'm in New Zealand and it's 10.20am, I can still watch #bbcqt vicariously through my timeline. #
  • One of my colleagues just made a sound like a dying goose. #
  • -e^(iπ) Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest #mathsfilms #
  • Σ LIke It Hot #mathsfilms #
  • Just discovered there's a 'Skeptics In the Pub' group in Wellington. Next meeting is next week. #sitp #
  • Nice Rugby World Cup visualisation. http://t.co/X8dl8cxc #
  • Brace yourself, weekend: I'm about to give you a big snog with tongues. #
  • I'm so glad to get out of work today that I could skip down the road. I'm not going to, but I could. #
  • Wellington is revealing itself to be a bit of a sexy beast this evening: http://t.co/XWUzXhKS http://t.co/5H50MXMN #
  • If in doubt, Meriadoc, always #ff your nose. #
  • "YOU SHALL NOT PASS, you flamin' mongrel!"
    - Gandalf Stewart #
  • Very sad. RT @skystallard One miner found dead at Gleision colliery. #
  • Great match between NZ and Japan tonight. Japan got thumped but played a spirited and positive game. They deserved their try. #RWC2011 #
  • There's substance in NZ called Whittaker's Peanut Block. It's utterly scrumdiddlyfuckingumptious. The Cashew Nut version is manky. #
  • Cashew nuts have no earthly business being in or near a sweet-based product. #
  • Happy 4-to-the-third-power-th birthday to Mr McDad aka @mmca47! #
  • (That last tweet via @sampsonian) #
  • Please select from one of the folliwing options: Good morning / Good night / Hello / Goodbye / Tea! Now! / Cake please / Boo. #
  • A productive morning. I have already invented the word 'folliwing'. This afternoon I shall invent the word 'gurselpuggy'. #
  • That @BertieWWooster seemed like a decent chap at first, but his timeline today reveals him as an aggressive, abusive troll. Blocky block. #
  • I have invented the word 'gurselpuggy'. #
  • Exciting! My Samsung Galaxy Tab is on its way from the US to NZ. I told it to take Ambien and red wine for the long-haul flight. #
  • Off to see my first live match of the Rugby World Cup: South Africa vs. Fiji #
  • In the stadium: http://t.co/nn9zw9AW #
  • Mid-play: http://t.co/2LkKzRQj #
  • South Africa vs Fiji was great, all the better for the tickets being free! #
  • Now in the Fanzone watching Aussie vs Ireland. Crowd very much cheering for Ireland. #
  • Go Ireland! #
  • That was an awesome match. #
  • It's been mostly a lovely day, but I have been tickled with the sleep-duster and my dreams are pawing at my mind's door, anxious to explore. #
  • I think it's about time to go cwtch a sausage sandwich with my mouthparts. #
  • Perched: http://t.co/H2FLCjjt #
  • I over-toasted the bread for my sausage sandwich. My day is ruined. #

The Short Tale of Toby the Finch

There was once a little finch called Toby. He was three years old (which for a finch is about mid-teens) and he lived in a oak tree in the middle of Hyde Park. For the most part he enjoyed his life. He went for a fly around the city every morning at sunrise. He feasted richly on scraps of Monster Munch and Pret-a-Manger sandwiches scattered on the ground near his tree. He was good friends with the squirrels. But he was lonely. When it was cold at night, as he snuggled into his nest, his thoughts always turned to Emily Lark, the lovely wee fledgling he had fallen wing over feet in love with when they were both at nursery. As a young finch he had always been too shy to cheep at her, and when he saw her the edges of his beak would turn as red as Gordon Robin’s breast! But that was a long time ago, and it did not do Toby any good to dwell on the past and past regrets.

One particularly sunny morning, Toby was out for his morning fly-around and he decided to stop for short rest and a beakful of dew on a larch tree near Poet’s corner. He sat on a branch, looking out at the world, and warming his wingtips in the rays of the rising sun. He closed his eyes. Another bird flew down. Toby opened one eye and glanced over. He almost fell off the branch! It was Emily. His heart fluttered as if he’d just eaten a bee! Their eyes met, and she smiled at him. This was his chance. He shuffled along the branch towards her. She didn’t fly away. He looked again into her eyes, and her gaze back at him told him he might not be lonely any more.

My Week In Tweets – 2011-09-11

  • Nassa hiding in the shade: http://t.co/QGe74Ix #
  • Decided to give my beard a little trim: http://t.co/c0HlLQ1 #
  • Equal parts happiness and pleasure with just a wee dash of smug RT @amandapalmer someone british please explain RT @DoonTube wtf is chuffed? #
  • Sitting in the sun, drinking a beer, waiting for my washing to finish so I can hang it out. Then I shall go for a walk. Today, I am content. #
  • Wind Sculptures – Zephyrometer: http://t.co/BNiEBQF #
  • Wind Sculptures – Wellington Urban Forest: http://t.co/ONyrknY #
  • Wind Sculptures – Akau Tangi: http://t.co/DnVMOGY #
  • Wind Sculptures – Tower of Light: http://t.co/a2Co3G3 #
  • My alarm wrenches me from sleep. My hand scrabbles for the snooze button. Monday, that most unwelcome of pursuers, has found me again. #
  • "Let us go then, you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, and get our freak on." – T.S. Missy Eliot #
  • "Whose woods these are I think I know. The clues are there…as we go through the keyhole." – Robert David Frost #
  • "…when all at once I saw a crowd, a host, of tasty pick and mix" – William Wordswoolworths #
  • "My sheep have all of them become lost to me. I have no sense of where they, if looked for, are to be found." – Little Samuel 'Bo' Pepys #
  • Little Bo Simon has lost his motivation to work and doesn't know where to find it. #
  • If Freddie Mercury was still alive, today he might be getting a telegram from Queen. #
  • I am craptaculously bored today. Some of you better wake up soon and start posting smirky witticisms or I shall be very cross indeed. #

My Week In Tweets – 2011-09-04

  • Fur seals at Sinclair Head. http://t.co/tPzQY90 #
  • Complete archive of the BBC's Reith Lectures. I recall being awed listening to Vilayanur Ramachandran in 2003. http://t.co/qAopP9q #
  • Once upon a time, a sheep sneezed. Bless ewe. The end. #
  • Cult-classic-film-title-pun-based business name of the week: http://t.co/4dccQyo #
  • Survived Monday at work with only moderate swearing and just 20 minutes spent sobbing into the crumbs of a half-eaten scone. A good start. #
  • Gimme an 's'! Gimme a 'tarving'! Gimme that donut. #
  • Shall I have some wine? Wait. That's not right. I mean 'I shall have some wine'. #
  • Think this morning's @laffare coffee from Thorndon New World was made with slightly 'off' milk. Tastes a bit sour. It's usually very good. #
  • Loving the audiobook of 'Why does E = mc2?' by @ProfBrianCox and @jrf1968. It's like a physics version of an episode of Columbo! :) #
  • 8pm already. The week creeps inexorably onwards, like the Pensioner of Time's tongue extending to meet the Soup Spoon of Eventuality. #
  • My washing machine is making sounds like Treebeard straining through a particularly twiggy poo. #
  • Grin, moon-dog! (anag.) #
  • Q. Why did the horse's hair fall out?

    A. Gallopecia. #

  • Seconded! RT @grazingbison We need a new mythological creature. I nominate @TheLastHatGirl to discover, name and tame it. #
  • Reduced to 30p in the local cash'n'carry: http://t.co/wDXpAvQ What better to counteract the recent wintery weather in NZ? #
  • Still no call-up for Hobbit extras casting, but my hopes are fading: the ad I responded to has been taken down. My beard and I are sad :( #
  • I am going to bed but I feel like sleep is going to evade me tonight. Mood is up and down like a yo-yo on a pogo-stick in a lift. #
  • I think I've broken my energy-momentum four-vector. That means I don't have to get up, right? #
  • In spacetime the volume of your screams is invariant. #
  • According to the laws of general relativity, jam is a conserved quantity. #
  • The antimatter equivalent of the photon is the photoff. #
  • Wow RT @BBCNews See the moment the Eiffel Tower was struck by a huge bolt of lightning during a thunderstorm in Paris http://j.mp/nD0AvE #
  • Woohoo! :) MT @googlealumni We have our 3 winners of Galaxy Tabs! Congrats to Neal Sussman, Simon McArthur and Prajakta Vartak! #
  • I saw a man this morning with ears so full of black hair I thought he was wearing fuzzy earphones. #
  • Video tours of Christchurch's 'Red Zone' http://t.co/6l9OxED #
  • "These hobnobs are very moreish, Stavros!": http://t.co/RXqDUsw #
  • Einstein was a sufferer of geodesickness. #
  • In classical music snooker, the most common foul is the Rachman in-off. #
  • Budget-conscious composers shop at VivAldi. #
  • Pirate physicists make their captives walk the planck. #
  • I've been putting it off for while but I think it's about time I did a bit of beard pruning: http://t.co/jhk96TZ #
  • Film fans take note: the Will Smith film 'I Am Legend' should not be confused with the Michael Foot biopic 'I Am Leg End'. #
  • I'd like to build a realistic working model of the human digestive system but I don't have the stomach for it. #
  • Neuroscience fact: swimming with marine mammals can stimulate the release of endolphins. #
  • My psyche has gone for a stroll so I'm going to tootle off to watch Gladiator*.

    (* maybe Labyrinth) #

  • The Mayor Of Caster Sugar #bookkitchen #
  • Vol-au-Vent With The Wind #bookkitchen #
  • The Hob Bit #bookkitchen #
  • Northunger Abbey #bookkitchen #
  • Bram Stoker's 'Spatula' #bookkitchen #
  • One more, then I must to sleep… #
  • The complete works of Chef Scott Fitzgerald #bookkitchen #
  • Spring in Wellington: http://t.co/vBycYZ6 #
  • Waiting for this to start – very excited: http://t.co/tx0ov3G #
  • The Solace Of The Wind, with wooly knickers: http://t.co/q0wbV2g #
  • Meant to be playing badminton in an hour and a half. Really don't feel like getting up any time soon. Throat is ticklish. #
  • Yesterday's talk by Gino Acevedo (http://t.co/XcKYUSq) on his work on make up and prosthetics for @wetaworkshop was fascinating. Great guy! #
  • Possibly unintentional pun of the week: http://t.co/fff6Zfs #